


Sirius Headcanon

by flamingwaterworks



Category: Harry Potter- Unknown Author, harry potter- fandom
Genre: Bulimia, Eating Disorder, F/M, M/M, Regulus only really gets mentioned at the start, Trigger Warnings, anyway, lol, tw bulimia, tw eating disorder.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26052997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingwaterworks/pseuds/flamingwaterworks
Summary: (Tw: bulimia/eating disorders/abuse implied)I have a hc that during Sirius’ late hogwarts years he developed a eating disorder out of pressure from his parents. So a short fic about that
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, wolfstar - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius had left the feast early. Much to James-mother-hen-Potter’s concerns over his eating habits. No one knew what to make of Sirius’ eating habits or his relationship to food in general. Sirius departed for a empty Gryffindor common room. Hoping they wouldn’t follow him for a little while. Ever since they got back to Hogwarts to start their 4th Year, Sirius was odd. Seeming more frail and underfed. More on edge and jumpy. His home life had worsened. That much was obvious. He and his parents where on a boiling points. A thin wire that was about to snap. Simple things that Sirius did could push his parents over the edge. Remus didn’t know what that would entail for Sirius, but it would be bad. Some teachers have noticed changed behaviour, Sirius begged Mcgonagall  
to not write to his parents any more. This arises everyone’s suspicions, but of course Sirius didn’t talk about it.

Remus knew something was up. This was out of character for Sirius to leave the feast this early without making at least 50 werewolf, stag or rat jokes. He seemed miserable whenever someone wasn’t talking. However all the marauders concluded Sirius had a bug. His parents never looked after him when he was sick. Often he denied he was sick and hide it. Over working himself just to prove he was fine. Surely he didn’t have a bug.   
“He’ll be alright” James assured  
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Maybe he’s got a bug or something” Remus suggested  
“Yeah probably. Except there’s been nothing to indicate it” Peter added  
“Mmmh,” James said. Remus was shovelling food in his mouth. More so to try and break the tone. The atmosphere had noticeably dipped without Sirius.   
“Remus stop it. You’re *wolfing* it down” James emphasised. All three boys began laughing so hard. The emphasis on Wolfing it, however did unsettle Remus a little bit. He slowed down. Theorising what was wrong with Sirius  
“Want to leave?” asked Remus to the other two boys.   
“Uhh. Do you want to?” James questioned. He clearly wasn’t done but he knew Remus was too unsettled about Sirius’ odd behaviour.   
“It’s fine. I’ll meet you guys back at dorm” Remus said. He flung his backpack over his shoulder and left before waiting for James or Peter. 

Quickly and swiftly, he made his way to the Gryffindor common room. Empty. Completely deserted. He found his way up the staircase to the dorms as quickly as possible. Throwing open the door. He realises Sirius wasn’t there. However his bag was and a tap was running somewhere. Where was he?   
“Maybe he could be at the library,” He muttered to himself. The tap turned off then the bathroom door opened. Sirius emerged from the door. 

Small curls framed his face, they stuck to the sweat that was dripping down his waxy face. He looked tired. Bloodshot eyes and swollen cheeks Cheeks which are flushed with colour, the opposite of his forehead. Reeking of sick, which was in sharp comparison to the bathroom freshener. This wasn’t how he expected to find Sirius. 

“are you okay?” questioned Remus  
“I’m fine. I just think i have a bug.” Sirius said through a strained voice, it sounded rehearsed.  
“You ought to go to bed” Remus replied. Slowly approaching the smaller boy. Suddenly his stick figure frame stuck out more. He was so much more skinner then he was 3 weeks ago, when they all arrived back at Hogwarts for their 5th year. Sirius lurched forward, throwing his body weight on the taller boy. Remus caught him and sank to the floor, preparing to pick him up. 

Slowly but surely he did. Placing him on his bed in the dorm and sinking a hand to touch his forehead. He didn’t have a fever. It looked like he did but he was more cold then anything. Sirius began to move Remus’ hand. He had lingered his hand on his forehead in complete astonishment. Remus knew, maybe Sirius knew that he understood what he was doing, but he said nothing.   
“Get changed into your pyjamas and just go to bed alright?” Remus asked   
“‘k” Sirius replied simply. Remus left. Headed for the common room to give Sirius his space to get changed.

After a while, the common room started to swarm with people. Remus simply decided to make a start on his homework. Hoping Sirius had got changed and got to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus simply decided to make a start on his homework. Hoping Sirius had got changed and got to bed. Eventually James and Peter has arrived. They where some of the first people.  
“Snivellus made a werewolf howl as he passed us” James frowned  
“Yeah. Not that we expected much else.” Giggled Peter. Remus smiled, unsure of whether or not to tell his friends about what he had seen of Sirius. Peter was watching a few 2nd years play Gobstones. Eventually going to join them. Remus watched. His friend was happy and that made Remus happy that he was enjoying himself.  
“What’s up with Padfoot anyway?” Questioned James.  
“under the weather” Remus lied. It wasnt convincing with all the hesitation and thought put into it.  
“Remus John Lupin” James conveyed in a threatening tone, his full name too. He made himself clear: he didn’t believe him.  
“I don’t know what’s wrong with him either Prongs. Really. Something is up with him, but I don’t know either.” Remus said sympathetically, wondering about maybe something that had gone on at his home. Maybe something in his family. Walburga was slowly losing patience with Sirius’ rebellious attitude. It was becoming increasingly clear among the Black family that Sirius was not going to live up to their expectations. He befriended a half blooded werewolf. Actively defended any muggleborn who got called a mudblood. He simply showed too much sympathy for his mothers liking. Remus speculated that it was his parent’s abuse coming full circle. 

“Hey Moony! Did you catch old Minnie said in transfiguration?” giggles James. He had been resting his hand at his hairline, making his unusually messy hair even more messy.  
“No i didnt” He didn’t care either. He was too busy speculating about Sirius while watching Peter. His tone was less the ordinary for James’ liking, but he payed little attention.  
“She was talking about qudditch-“ James said before Remus cut him off  
with “-When is she not?” James continued anyway “The first match is Gryffindor against Slytherin.” he paused to take a deep and shaky breath “Reg made the Slytherin team.” James added.  
“What?” Remus sat up straight. Regulus Black playing for Slytherin against Sirius playing for Gryffindor. Walburga and Orion where bound to find out and show up in support of Slytherin and Regulus. That would utterly ruin Sirius’ confidence and make them lose the game.  
“Yeah. It’s not going to be good for him is it?” James remarked rhetorically. Any sane human being knows it’s not going to be good for him or Gryffindor. Remus wondered whether James’ concerns lied in Qudditch or Sirius’ behaviour. 

Without a word spoken between the two boys. James departed for the dorms. Remus decided he was best leaving the two best friends alone together. It was for the better, he convinced himself. Unsatisfied and grumpily, he watched Peter win at gobstones with the younger boys. They were celebrating and sharing congratulations. He did wonder occasionally about the oddity’s of his friends. Two rich pure bloods who had the world at their disposal. 

Remus got on with some homework. A growing dread inside of him. Eventually at 10pm Remus departed for bed with Peter.  
“Do you think Padfoot is okay?” he asked out of curiosity. Remus took a deep breath and answered with a simple “No.” Peters face dropped into a frown immediately upon hearing this, but he didnt push it any further. They all decided it was too late.They entered the dormitory and Sirius was sleeping. James getting himself ready for bed, looking slightly upset


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to continue this to the best of my abilities as i have so many other stories i have planned out and want to complete. So might as well attempt to wrap this one up.

Remus, James and Peter all made their way to bed. Remus’ uncertainty about what the next few month would bring for Sirius’ situation had clearly rubbed off. Usually they could sit up talking for hours at a time, they would never willingly shut up. However they remained dead silent. Not a whisper between them. They got ready for bed in complete silence, if it wasnt for Sirius’ heavy breathing you wouldnt even know anyone was in the room. James kept throwing “i really want to talk but in private” type glances at Remus, but he ignored them. They could talk in the morning.  
Remus climbed into bed and blew out the last remaining of the candles. He lay awake. Thoughts swirling in his head. The idea of what was wrong with Sirius. He fell asleep eventually though

It was about 4am when Remus awoke to the sound of retching and vomiting. It didnt register at first, he was too drowsy. He decided he needed to the toilet before going back to sleep. An abandoned bed, Sirius’ one, didnt even register in Remus’ mind, he hadnt noticed.

Locked. Of course it was. Remus knocked on the bathroom door. A split second later it swung open. Sirius’ frame stood in the door. Bloodshot eyes. Reddened skin. Hair stuck to his head. Lip quivering. Remus’ concern only grew. 

“Are you okay?” Remus broke the silence, with a stupid question. He’s clever enough to already know the answer and piece together what’s wrong.  
“Yeah, Yeah...” Sirius slightly sobbed. “Im fine, just a stomach bug i think” He tacked on quickly. “Do you want to go to the hospital?” Remus asked, he knew the answer already, but it might just be worth asking. “No, no, im fine” Sirius rushed past Remus and Back to bed. 

The next morning, by the time Remus awoke, everyone had gone to breakfast. He say up and got ready. Made his bed. Packed his school bag and went down to the great hall. It was a lively place. The game against Slytherin was coming up soon. It was the talk of the school. How the Black Brothers would be playing against each other. How their parents where bound to be there in support for one, but not the other. The thought of how that made Sirius feel really made Remus’s stomach drop. There was only so much he could do to support him.

Remus took his seat next to the other boys. Sirius looked better. He was flicking some pancakes around his plate and reluctantly took bites from it occasionally. James seemed to have finish and was reading the daily prophet. Occasionally saying “What a load of rubbish” when he read a ridiculous story. Peter was conversing with Kingsley Shackbolt, who sat next to them. Kingsley always gave off an aura of important and power. Remus respected him for that and looked up to him for it. Remus helped himself to some scrambled egg on toast. Trying to eat quickly while also coming across as calm  
“You’ve hardly touched your pancakes Padfoot” Said James out of concern. He had finally put down the daily prophet. Sirius just looked at him, and took another mouthful of pancake. Slowly chewing on it.  
“Any news?” asked Remus curiously.  
“Nothing much” James failed to lie. Remus saw through it by the way he immediately hid it. He snatched the paper from James and read the second page  
“How to spot a werewolf living among you” the title read in big writing. Remus panicked slightly. It gave out every tip on how to spot one, what if people put two and two together and realise hes one? He panicked and James snatched the paper back.

“Dont worry about it Moony” reassured Peter.  
“Yeah, Mcgongall will crush any rumours about it immediately. No ones going to harm you” James added. Sirius looked up and nodded in agreement. Remus had only now noticed, His cheeks looked sunken and drained of any life

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve hit a writers block with this one so im not too sure if it will be continued. Sorry


End file.
